Jane Austen & the Matter of Marriage
It’s one of the great literary ironies: though romance and marriage drive Miss Austen’s novels, she remained a spinster.
We are on our third Jane Austen post for the month of January!
I have been enjoying Sense and Sensibility, while reading a biography on the side. There are simply so many books about Jane, and yet many mysteries remain; perhaps that is, in part, why she remains so popular to this day.
When Jane is mentioned, we can’t help but think of pastel ballgowns, great houses, and certain infuriating gentleman characters. She is synonymous with romance, happy endings and marriage.
There is little obvious evidence in her writing that she had a greater struggle, but every human does.
Having finished the biography Jane Austen at Home by Lucy Worsley (and with two other biographies to read), I’ve learned things about Jane’s life that are sobering. She always had trials—particularly towards the end of her life, when she became ill.
In Possession of a Fortune?
From Jane’s youth, the Austen family often struggled to make ends meet.
At one point, her mother and father turned the Austen house into a boarding school for boys. Their home was already small; the presence of pupils made it more crowded.
As a solution, Jane herself was sent temporarily to a school for girls. The author did not enjoy this separation from her family; it would be the longest time she ever spent away from her sister.
Women, at the time, were at a disadvantage.
Throughout Jane’s life, she and her female relatives struggled with instability—especially after the death of her father. Jane did not have a home of her own.
During the Regency period, women had to marry for that kind of stability. Love was seldom a motive for weddings; no, indeed—marriage was, most often, a necessity to keep ladies in homes and cared for with good reputations.
We know that Jane opted out of that path. Rather than marrying for the comforts it might provide, she preferred to live as a spinster.
The truth remains that marriage would have erased many of her problems in later years. We must admire the fact that she remained true to herself.
The Matter of Chawton
There’s a nuance in Jane’s books that I hadn’t noticed until Lucy Worsley pointed it out in her introduction: Jane’s characters are often on the verge of losing (or being cast out) of their homes or families.
Like author, like character, I suppose?
For Jane, after the death of her father, there was never a place she could look at and say “This is my home and always will be”—not even Chawton Cottage. Its use was a gift from her wildly fortunate brother, Edward.
When he was a child, Edward Austen had been adopted by some distant relatives, the Knights. They first met him when they visited the Austens’ Parsonage during their ‘wedding tour.’
The Knights were charmed by young Edward during their visit, and invited him to join them for the remainder of their trip. He wound up staying with them. When the Knights remained childless, he found himself in line to one day inherit a substantial fortune and plenty of land.
Edward took the Knights’ surname, and they paid for his Grand Tour when he reached his eighteenth birthday. After Mrs. Knight’s death, Edward found himself the master of their land and fortune.
It was not, however, going to be an easy transition.
Edward inherited the ownership of properties in Steventon, Chawton, and Godmersham. This included the great Chawton House, as well as a cottage nearby where his mother and sisters would eventually live.
He did not offer the cottage to his relatives at once. Their homing situation only seemed to cross his mind after his wife, Elizabeth, died. Her loss convinced him that his mother and sisters needed a home nearby.
Worsley writes:
“Edward’s wife’s death seems to have convinced him that he and his motherless family should spend more time in his native Hampshire, and that he should live more often at Chawton House, the secondary property he owned there. He also offered his mother and sisters a rent-free cottage in the village nearby. They took it.”
Even their comfortable life in Chawton Cottage came under peril.
In the autumn of 1814, Edward came under legal attack. His inheritance of the Knights’ estates would come into question by distant relatives, the Baverstock-Hintons:
“Mrs. Knight’s will had named the Hinton family as the next heirs should Thomas Brodnax-May-Knight’s line fail. The Knight line clearly had failed, James Baverstock and the Hintons now argued, as Edward Austen was not a blood relative. And, in addition, the entail that cut out the Hinton claim in favor of Edward had been executed out of the legal profession’s term-time. Did this make it invalid? The Baverstock-Hinton party certainly thought so.”
If Baverstock should win this battle, Edward would lose Chawton House—and his female relatives would be homeless.
After a four-year battle over the will, Edward bought his way out of trouble by selling a large amount of timber from Chawton Park. This raised £15,000 to pay off the claimants.
Jane, Cassandra, and their mother would be able to stay at Chawton Cottage…but it still wasn’t theirs. Women did not often own property; Jane was no exception.
Again, this woman of brilliant mind and sparkling ideas…lacked stability.
Chawton Settles
The Austen ladies came dangerously close to homelessness during Edward’s trial. They must have exhaled in relief when Edward won.
If the result had been otherwise, the ladies would have had to leave their cottage. (Not to mention the embarrassment that would follow! There were few things at the time more dreaded than gossip.)
Things might’ve settled in Edward’s favor, but that did not relieve the ladies from their worries. In many ways, they remained on their own, especially financially.
It must have been elating, then, when Jane acquired some independence (and pride!) from her novels, even if her earnings were meager.
Sisters & Spinsters
It’s one of the great literary ironies: though romance and marriage drive Miss Austen’s novels, she remained a spinster.
From a certain angle, it’s not difficult to see why: marriage would have made her a man’s property. There was the risk that a charming suitor would change after the marriage, showing his true colors.
Jane was not without suitors to choose from. Jane Austen at Home mentioned at least three gentlemen who showed an interest in her (including the Prince Regent’s librarian).
The Austen family was not titled or wealthy, but they had a decent place in Society. Thanks to Edward, they had relatives in high places. She had opportunities to find someone and marry. In spite of this, both she and Cassandra remained spinsters.
Unlike Jane, Cassandra had a serious suitor in her youth; unfortunately, her fiancée died before they could marry. After that, she did not try again—but she had allowed herself, at one time, to dream of a different life.
Jane did not show any interest in doing the same. She guarded her freedom jealously; though she indulged in a flirtation or two, she did not accept anyone as a potential spouse.
Nosy reader that I am, I find myself wondering if she ever wished that she had married.
Jane, Cassandra, and her mother were left to survive on their brothers’ kindnesses; it must not have always been comfortable.
What about Harris?
But Jane was engaged—for one night—on December 2, 1802. At the time, she was nearly twenty-seven years old.
The man in question was Mr. Harris Bigg-Wither. He was the brother of family friends, Catherine and Alethea. They and the Austens would have become lawful sisters, an idea which must have made the prospect of a wedding doubly attractive.
Harris had inherited a home called Manydown and, though he’s been described as being plain-looking and meek, those are not necessarily bad things. He ‘had sense in plenty & went through life very respectably, as a country gentleman’.
For reasons that have been speculated for years, Jane called off their engagement the morning after she told him yes.
Why didn’t Jane accept this gentleman? It would have been an advantageous match. The house alone would have been a temptation; Jane would finally be the mistress of a place of her own.
In Jane Austen at Home, Lucy Worsley proposes a theory that Cassandra was the reason.
Jane was reluctant to marry, knowing that she would no longer be able to enjoy the same nearness with her sister. It was often commented with amusement that they were ‘married to each other’; they had even shared a room for a long time.
That degree of attachment is difficult to surrender; Jane and Cassandra were together until the author breathed her last. There might have been more reasons than that—but it makes sense that the sisters were reluctant to part.
Still—poor Harris. This portrait isn’t very flattering, either…
Freedom to Write
Once Jane decided that marriage was off the table, she felt free to dedicate her mental energy to writing.
Her mother and sister took up household matters so Jane could throw herself into storytelling. She spent her free time at the piano or her sacred writing-desk.
At this desk, she penned the stories that were to become immortal. Sense and Sensibility, or—as she originally titled it—Elinor and Marianne, was her first published novel.
Sense and Sensibility is a novel about two sisters. One is a dreamer, while the other has a steadier head on her shoulders. I have little doubt that Jane’s relationship with Cassandra helped color this novel, as well as the others.
Sisterhood is a strong element in most of her works. Pride and Prejudice features five sisters!
What is Home?
Did Jane ever regret her decision not to marry?
Many of the answers we crave probably went up in flames when Cassandra burned Jane’s letters. We will never know why she really turned down Harris’ offer; she took those secrets to her grave.
It wouldn’t be surprising if Jane wished, during her illness, that she had accepted the proposal—for the sake of her mother and sister. On the other hand, she might have been grateful that she was able to earn her own living, though it wasn’t much.
Jane elected spinsterhood, possibly because of attachment to her sister. That was her choice; not everyone has the blessing of a good relationship with siblings.
When Jane fell ill, Cassandra remained by her side until she died.
I will explore that sad topic next Friday. Literary scholars continue to puzzle over Jane Austen’s symptoms. It’s been so long, and the puzzle is complicated; we cannot make an accurate diagnosis based on phrases in letters.
Sad as the topic might be, fans of Jane want to know her full picture—even the final weeks of her life.
Thank you for joining me this month as I explore Jane Austen’s life.
As usual, if I have gotten something wrong, feel free to correct me; I am doing this to learn as much as I am trying to teach!
I read the book mentioned fairly recently and it was excellent, I learnt so much about Austen and the era she lived in. For me, she was never a romance writer, but more a social commentator, I feel the various adaptations create an illusion unfortunately.
For Jane Austen, I feel the prospect of marriage felt like a prison, where she would lose herself and become trapped in perpetual child rearing, you only have to look at examples around her.
As for Edward Austen, he could have done more far quicker to help his blood relatives and maybe having free childcare nearby provided an incentive.
I also enjoyed reading Godmersham Park by Gill Hornby and next on my list is the biography by Claire Tomalin.
She knew what marriage meant but was probably not ready or interested... A woman's role was to give birth and take care of the house—nothing more. Okay, she might show up in different places, dance, eat, and chat, but I think she was too BRIGHT for that.